In Britain we have traditionally been sticklers for etiquette. From arriving at someone else’s house to eating soup in a fancy restaurant, there are social rules for just about every situation. Tea parties are no exception, so if you have been invited to afternoon tea, here are some essentials you’ll need to know in order to be a polite and proper guest!
 

1. Place the napkin on your lap

First things first. When you sit down to tea, your napkin should be placed on your lap. No tucking it into your top or putting it aside and ignoring it.  

2. Hold the teacup by the handle

Teacups are rather dainty items, unlike the big, solid mugs many of us use day-to-day. While we might wrap both hands around a warm mug of tea, it’s not the done thing with a teacup. Instead, hold it by its small handle…and whatever you do, don’t slurp!

3. No spoon-licking allowed

When you’ve stirred your tea (which should be done without clinking it against the sides of the cup) it’s tempting to pop it in your mouth to lick the liquid off. However, this is not acceptable behaviour at a posh tea party. Your spoon is for stirring only, and must be placed on your saucer behind the teacup when not in use. 

4. Eat with your hands…

You might think that with all these strict rules around how you can drink your tea, cutlery might be essential at a tea party. In fact, it’s not! You are supposed to eat with your fingers, meaning you’re free to pick sandwiches and cakes from the tiered stand without messing about with serving implements. 
 

5. and in the right order

When delicious food has been put down in front of you, it’s tempting to dive in, grab all the tastiest looking snacks and pop them on your plate. However, this is not a buffet so only help yourself to one item at a time. You should begin with the sandwiches and savouries, then eat your scone, and finally the sweet treats. 

6. Small bites only

Since afternoon tea is a polite affair during which you’ll chat to your fellow guests, take small bites of your food and make sure you swallow before participating in the conversation. 

7. Dab with your napkin

Just as your tea party experience began with your napkin, so it ends. Dab (don’t wipe) your mouth with your napkin at the end of the tea, and place it on the table to the left of your plate. 

Discover The Tiger Who Came to Tea

One creature who doesn’t seem to be aware of tea party etiquette is the tiger who has tea with Sophie and her mummy. The stage adaptation of Judith Kerr’s The Tiger Who Came to Tea is back for another tour in 2026, playing across the UK and Ireland. This fun theatre family show makes for a great day out, bringing theatre for preschoolers to your local area. Search ‘theatre shows for under 5s’ and book today with your nearest venue.